Sunday, August 8, 2010

The Details

I'm 16 weeks and 1 day pregnant which puts my due date at January 15, 2011. Next year. Feels like forever but if the next 24 weeks can go as fast as these last 16 I won't complain! Our blondie's birthdays are: October, November, January, and January making spring time our mating season. Nice. :)

We're excited, although we're quite guarded with our excitement. Even the blondies didn't jump up and down when we shared our news. Tatum asked, " How do we know this one won't die?" I tried reassuring her but realized we don't know. I assured her the doctors would look really close at everything, especially the heart. When I compare their reaction to finding out about Jersey compared to this one it's so mild. They did smile big and they are excited but some how it feels different. We affectionately call the baby, Baby Andy short for Anderson. I think it's cute and so much better than 'It' or 'the baby'.

I hesitate and almost refuse to look for diaper bags or anything baby. I remember doing that with Jersey and ended up never needing anything. I promised Tucker Jersey would be at his 4th birthday party...I lied. Baby Andy is due 18 days before his 6th birthday, I don't dare make any promises. I don't even want to think about buying diapers or wipes, last time I returned almost $100 worth. I wonder at what point I'll be able to feel the assurance this one is healthy, who knows, maybe I won't, maybe it isn't.

I had my first appointment last week. The thought of an upcoming appointment made me feel really anxious. The thought of a waiting room, having to review Jersey's history, the almost expectant feeling of bad news just about made me sick. I dreaded my appointment. Surprisingly I got through it with zero tears and no anxiety attack. I can't seem to remember that the anticipation is worse than the upcoming event.

My doctor was quite nice, I think he and I will get along. He easily promised an echo and a level 2 ultrasound and reassured me that if anything concerning was seen during my 18 week ultrasound we would immediately be advised. He almost calmed my concerns, nothing could completely calm me. My brain is programmed for and my body anticipates bad news. I have an ultrasound on the 17th of this month. Feeling anxious so I don't think about it. I've decided to bring the blondies to that appointment, Tatum is thrilled! Hoping we don't jinx any good news! I also have a cardiology appointment on September 3rd, definitely won't think about that one.

All in all feeling quite well and excited to have a baby in my arms!