Sunday, August 8, 2010

The Details

I'm 16 weeks and 1 day pregnant which puts my due date at January 15, 2011. Next year. Feels like forever but if the next 24 weeks can go as fast as these last 16 I won't complain! Our blondie's birthdays are: October, November, January, and January making spring time our mating season. Nice. :)

We're excited, although we're quite guarded with our excitement. Even the blondies didn't jump up and down when we shared our news. Tatum asked, " How do we know this one won't die?" I tried reassuring her but realized we don't know. I assured her the doctors would look really close at everything, especially the heart. When I compare their reaction to finding out about Jersey compared to this one it's so mild. They did smile big and they are excited but some how it feels different. We affectionately call the baby, Baby Andy short for Anderson. I think it's cute and so much better than 'It' or 'the baby'.

I hesitate and almost refuse to look for diaper bags or anything baby. I remember doing that with Jersey and ended up never needing anything. I promised Tucker Jersey would be at his 4th birthday party...I lied. Baby Andy is due 18 days before his 6th birthday, I don't dare make any promises. I don't even want to think about buying diapers or wipes, last time I returned almost $100 worth. I wonder at what point I'll be able to feel the assurance this one is healthy, who knows, maybe I won't, maybe it isn't.

I had my first appointment last week. The thought of an upcoming appointment made me feel really anxious. The thought of a waiting room, having to review Jersey's history, the almost expectant feeling of bad news just about made me sick. I dreaded my appointment. Surprisingly I got through it with zero tears and no anxiety attack. I can't seem to remember that the anticipation is worse than the upcoming event.

My doctor was quite nice, I think he and I will get along. He easily promised an echo and a level 2 ultrasound and reassured me that if anything concerning was seen during my 18 week ultrasound we would immediately be advised. He almost calmed my concerns, nothing could completely calm me. My brain is programmed for and my body anticipates bad news. I have an ultrasound on the 17th of this month. Feeling anxious so I don't think about it. I've decided to bring the blondies to that appointment, Tatum is thrilled! Hoping we don't jinx any good news! I also have a cardiology appointment on September 3rd, definitely won't think about that one.

All in all feeling quite well and excited to have a baby in my arms!

15 comments:

The Allen's said...

I love you! You are one of my heroes. Will we get to see you when we come up for tessa's wedding? I sure hope so. Thanks for being an example.

Tanner, Avery, Benson, and Bela said...

What wonderful news!! I'm so happy for you guys. I know the anxious, nervous feeling that accompanies another pregnancy well... I hope your apt goes well. I'm very anxious about my 18 week ultrasound, but all we can do is be positive right? I hope you get wonderful, perfect news.. I'm sure you will. SO happy for you!

Emily@Little Forever Family said...

It is funny how going through life you always expected pregnancy to be a pretty blissful time, but when something happens with one of your children, it almost seems like that bliss is taken away and replaced with a lot of worry and stress. I hope that things turn out well. I wish I could say that they will, but as I have yet to find the crystal ball with all the answers, I guess hope is all I have. We have our second fetal echo this Tuesday, and have one scheduled for the 3rd of September also (kind of strange how that happens) but really and truly I am hoping we do not have to use that one, since I am hoping the coarc they saw is gone since our little guys has enough on his plate. And I am hoping to get that far, since I will be 30 weeks that day. Good luck you guys. I think of your sweet Jersey often and of you guys.

Brooke Woods said...

Heidi- you are such a super mom!!! The Woods Family is very excited for your #4. I'm glad you finally got to the doc. Everything is going to be great!!! We pray for you and your baby lots. We miss you. Isn't 2 years up yet? Move back already... and this time to Mesa!

Chris said...

Congrats! We miss you so much!!You better take some pics during your pregnancy so we can see you progress! : ) Hugs to you!

Renae said...

To all our Anderson Family, Of course, you have concerns, that is just being Good Parents. But it sounds like everything is on track, We miss you all , but are excited where you are at this point in your life, and know that good things will happen Love to you ALL!!!! GG and Old Papa

The Glenns said...

Great news. It's interesting that pregnancy stirs up the highest of anxiety in mothers. I never rest the entire pregnancy or the first year of life. I still go in almost every night and nearly wake Maryn up just to know she is breathing.

You stepped into the dark, and you will be fine. I can't imagine anything more difficult than you have already faced.

We miss you. Come home as quick as you can :)

Evie's Story said...

Oh Heidi
I have wondered how this pregnancy would feel to you. I can imagine the wide range of emotions and your guardedness against getting too excited. Praying for joy and anticipation to fill your heart and reassurance to give you hope!

Molly Wright said...

So happy for you! You are such a wonderful mom and this babe will be as lucky as the others to be part of your family. We will pray that all is well!

Dennison Family said...

I'm so glad you like your Dr. That is half the battle! The anxiousness is expected. I pray everything will go well for the next 24 weeks! :)

Ashley said...

I'm happy for you Heidi. I hope and pray everything goes perfectly for you. I was totally nervous through my whole pregnancy with Sam and luckily he is a happy healthy 3 month old!!! I hope you guys are doing great in Utah!!

Deana said...

So glad you found a DR you like. Hope you are feeling well. I will be praying extra hard for you and your family!! So fun having you close to us. Love you!!

Libbis (and the other 7) Grammy

likeschocolate said...

Congratulations, and we will keep you in our prayers. I can understand your fear. We so want another child, but are so scared that there will be something wrong or even worse that the diagnosis our son had. Sending you love and prayers from Georgia.

Janalyn said...

Just checking in to see how your ultrasound went.

Cyndi said...

So excited for you guys! I definitely understand you being anxious about this pregnancy... especially after everything you guys went through with Jersey! I hope all goes well with the ultrasounds & cardiology appts. I'll be thinking about ya!