For Jersey

It had been a really hard 2 weeks, perhaps the worst 2 yet. Chris and I had a fight, the largest yet. We hardly spoke those 2 weeks. We both took leaps backwards rather than forwards. Back to being very emotional. Time had once again stopped, everybody but me was living. There was no light, nothing to smile about, just heartache, desperation... more loneliness than I had ever imagined. Chris and I have handled our Jersey VERY differently, we do not agree, it is VERY straining. It has seemed loads harder for him than me. We were struggling like never before.

My friend Sandy came over for a visit, I love Sandy. She had a gift for Chris and I but it wasn't from her. She didn't know how crappy we had been feeling. She handed me a pink gift bag that had the most darling scrap booked picture book in it I had ever seen. It was full of delicious pinks, eye-blinding sparkles, and a zillion rhinestones. Everything about it said princess! I immediately fell in love and begged to know who had spent so many hours on this most sparkly creation. Then we sat down. We had a talk and while the scrapbook was a gift the real gift was what Sandy had in her hands. She explained: This person expects to be anonymous and hopes you will respect her wishes. She then handed me 3 pieces of paper. All of which I read with tears on my cheeks and a burning in my heart.

My new anonymous friend explained that we've never met but are in the same ward (church). For some time she had been prompted to design a special project for me. Then she goes on to say how privileged and honored she felt to be of service me. Through the entire project she said she felt the Lord's abundant love for me and my family, she was tenderly guided and it has been a very sweet experience for her. Then she said, "The Lord is mindful of you. He is sending a very special message to you through a complete stranger. Why now? I don't know. All I know is that I needed to get this done. The burning in my soul has been persistent." She continues to write that she is not the type to write poems, after much prayer and many drafts and being guided by the Spirit she wrote her poem. She said, "This part of the project (the poem) was very difficult for me. I do not know you, I have never met you, and yet I have been asked to write this very emotional, tender poem for you. I hope you receive the message that the Lord has angels watching over you.... Please know that these are not words from my lips but from the Lord's. This is his tender message for you." Sandy and my new anonymous friend chatted a bit about this and my friend said the poem isn't as much for me as it is for Chris. She didn't know why. I do.

For Jersey

Hair of gold

Eyes so blue

Tiny little body

With a heart pure and true

Fighting like a warrior

You heard the call

Return to your Heavenly Father

And proudly stand tall

Soft, sweet face

Blessed with eternal grace

Loving so gently

During a final embrace

Your purpose fulfilled

And perfection restored

Patiently you await

Your eternal reward

Now more diligently we will have to work

In righteous pursuit

Towards the worthiness

Required to be re-united with you

So with sorrow and love
We lay you to rest

Returning you to our Heavenly Father

With exalted request

Endure as we must

Many challenging tests

Following a promised plan for

Hope, love, everlasting life and happiness

This experience is a witness to me that we are NEVER left alone, even in our darkest hours. We needed this and Heavenly Father knew it. He loves us and our Jersey. I love how the poem speaks of her looks. I always wonder who she would look like, what that crazy hair would have turned out to be, would she be solid like Tucker or dainty and girlie like Tatum. I just knew she would be my green eyed baby but am thrilled she has Chris's baby blue eyes. I miss my girlie fiercely but am grateful for the small glimpses I get of her watching over and being aware of us.