Thursday, April 10, 2008

To Show or Not to Show

How cute is she! Every summer I'm torchered with the decision of whether or not we show shoulder and stomache. My rule is when she starts kindergarten no more sleevless or tummy showing. I think there's nothing wrong with it as she is only 4 but it's the comments and looks that I get that irritate and make me question myself. Does anybody have any guidance?




15 comments:

Heather said...

Hmmm, tough, tough. I think I would be a bit more lax when they are very little but as they are getting old enough to notice how others dress around them and recognize immodesty in the media and such it is time to teach them the standards that your family holds. Dress them temple worthy that way it isn't hard when they get older, when you start is your personal decision.

Shanen said...

ya, I struggled with this for a long time. We do tank tops at our house. But it's usually just the summertime. Obviously with the school dress code, they can't. Kylee NEVER wants her belly to show. Very Anti.

Kobi on the other hand, she wears her shorts sooo low on her hips, it usually is showing her belly a little bit. But I can't stand it.

Just let her wear her bathing suit all day, that's what Kobi does.

Monkey Pants said...

I did the kindergarten thing too. However, I did not do it here in AZ where you can wear a tank for a lot longer in the year.

You really should sit down with her and have a talk about modesty, then let her decide what she thinks is modest.

Kim said...

I second what heather said. Kindergarten is a good time to start. If covering up is the norm they will rarely give you a problem when they are teenagers and it can be a problem.

My girls will wear tank tops when they are getting ready for bed or to go somewhere but if Alec has friends over they cover up.

Tater is too young at this point to fully understand modesty. if you don't make a big deal out of it, it won't be a big deal.

Angie Whitman said...

That is a hard one. I think its completely up to you and how you feel. I let my girls where sleeveless shirts and tank tops in the warmer months. Makenzie is very modest (her personality) and wouldn't wear a two piece bathing suit if you begged her. Maddie is probably going to be a little
more "free", so I have kept that in mind and started early!

urkov fam said...

i grew up not being able to wear 2 pieces or tank tops. i had to sneek out of the house with a jacket on if i wanted to wear one. now, as a mom, i completely understand why my parents were so strict about it.

i do let brynlee wear tank tops with thicker straps, nothing too sleezy or revealing. but 2 pieces, i bought her one for last summer and i hated it, even for a 1year old. it was so cute but i promised myself i wouldnt do it again. one pieces or tankinies are just so much more attractive and cute. (in my opinion)

start with modesty while she is young and then there wont ever (hopefully) be an issue in the future because thats what the rules have always been. she is going to be 5 this year? i think that is getting old enough to understand. good luck!

Alisa Larson said...

I stil let Annalise wear tank tops, but I've been thinking that it'll have to end soon. She's starting to notice the people who aren't dressed modestly. Like watching Dancing w/the Stars, she went on and on about it. I use those momoents to address the topic. I really don't think she's too young for the concept and between now and kindergarten would be a good time to make the switch. I'm right there with you!

Chelsea said...

Hmmm, tough. Although I have no clue since I only have boys! But when I do have girls, I think it will be easier to just always dress her modest so she won't one day ask why she could wear tanks last year but not this year! Ha! She won't have to wonder I guess. But of course it could all change when I have a girl, who knows. Don't listen to me.

MommyRohner said...

I know I'm new to the girl thing, and I don't want to be preachy AT ALL! I think that because I had two boys first I had a lot of time to think about what I would do if I had a girl.
I grew up in a house that wasn't really strict about modesty. Yes, the parents prefered sleeves, but I don't think I had a single prom dress that had sleeves.
So, that being said, I just made the decision that from the very beginning I would try to dress her modestly. IT's a hard line to draw though because there's tops and dresses with little tiny sleeves too.
Anyway, I'm sure it will be harder as it gets hotter, but I'm going to try to keep it this way.
That's my thoughts. Not saying it's right or wrong, just what I decided.

Nichols Family said...

Tank tops are fine in my opinion when they're little. But showing the belly is a little more questionable, I think. But I'm glad I have little boys and I don't have to deal with that yet! Good luck!

Jamie Young said...

Wait, what kind of comments are you getting? Kylie is in kindergarten and she still does the tank top thing. They're so little and it's so stinkin hot! But after reading everyone's comments I'm starting to feel a little guilty! I definately see the reasoning in starting out modest from the beginning, and I really don't have much of an argument besides the heat....

Brittanie said...

You know where I stand!! I love the tanks and halters! =) I'm pretty sure I'll be backing off as she goes into elementary school though...Such a bummer!! =)

WishTrish said...

Heidi~ With Mayzie it has been a cinch. She notices modesty. She taddles on all the teenagers (and Moms!) at the mall, grocery store, eateries, etc. "I can see that girl's stomache!" or "I can see her boob crack." Yeah, she coined that one on her own... Obviously "boob" is a comfortable word in our house. :) But I knew she was obsessed with Modesty when she asked me the other day, "Why did you let Meeka out of the house without an undershirt?!" She was appalled! It was just a little summer sleeveless dress...

My true advice: Use the guidelines in the For the Strength of Youth in an FHE and let her pick her own clothes based on that. We bought the little undershirts from Shade for kids and Mayzie's favorite thing is to layer now. But DON'T stress about what other parents think. I don't! Ever. :)

Kristin said...

Wow that is a 'tuffy'. I think that it has to be up to you. My personal feelings are that I am okay with sleeveless but when Lauren's belly shows I usually retire the shirt. I think that I will let her decide when she gets older... I'm not much help but those are my thoughts.
And P.S. I rarely notice what other kids are wearing, It's not important to me, I just know that Tatum is so cute and she is going to be cute with whatever you decide!

Crystal said...

Boob crack! HA!!!