Wednesday, February 11, 2009

A Father's Grief

A Father's Grief

It must be very difficult
To be a man in grief,
Since "men don't cry"
and "men are strong"
No tears can bring relief.

It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test
And field the calls and visitors
So she can get some rest.

They always ask if she's all right
And what she's going through.
But seldom take his hand and ask,
"My friend, but how are you?"

He hears her crying in the night
And thinks his heart will break.
He dries her tears and comforts her,
But "stays strong" for her sake.

It must be very difficult
To start each day anew.
And try to be so very brave-
He lost his baby too.

Eileen Knight Hagemeister


Evie's Story said...

praying for both of you friend!

WishTrish said...

Beautifully written. So true.

The Ridgway Family said...

I LOVE IT Heidi. I know that Marcus and Chris have talked about this very thing and I love the poem. It says it perfectly. I hope you don't mind if I put it on my blog in a few days. Not in the mood to write right now. We had such a great time on Monday night and the girls talked all day yesterday about their friends Tatum and Tucker. We do have babysitting group this week, but on Friday night. We are going to play Rock Band I think cause Marcus just spent some money we don't have to buy it. Come over if you can and we can rock out!

Love, Keisa
ps - I am loving the book so far. Thanks!

The Simmons Family said...

That is a beautiful poem! I truly believe that the dad's do get labeled as the "STRONG ONES" and they are definetly dealing with the same emotions. He lost his baby girl and with it... part of him.

We're always praying!

lundgrenville said...

Our prayers have always been for each of you...your children too!
I have only seen Saul cry a few times in the 8 years that we have been married, but surely those times have been the most humbling and best times that I will never forget...Grown men do cry!
Hugs sister!

lundgrenville said...

Sweet Heidi-
Yes, our children know and feel more than our hearts tell us. I firmly believe and can testify that children have a close sense of the spirit...they are very close to the veil and experience things that only the blind eye can see...
So when can I come by and bring you a basket full of surprises..? I was thinking maybe Monday?? I have something that I am working on...and it should be done this weekend...
Email me at
Hugs my friend & many prayers for each of you!

Nicole said...

I'm glad you liked it. I'm never sure when I send you stuff. I'll see you tomorrow. We can cry our eyes out together.

The Millirons said...

Wow, I never thought of it that way. And it's so true.

blah, blah by lindsey said... heartaches for you guys

Lily's Mama! said...

Heidi, that poem made me cry. I wish men didnt have to be so brave and strong some days, I wish they could just break down like we do, but then on those days, who would our strength be?

I think about you guys daily and miss our little visits. I have not been to St.Joes since the last time I saw you and Jersey, and in all honesty, I don't know how I am going to handle it. I don't know how you get through your day to day life with our sweet jersey girl. Some days I feel as if our prayers went up in vain because the Lord had already chosen the path Jersey would live...I am angry for you....
I draw strength from your strength, Jersey touched me in a way that no other child has....except that of, Bela, Angel Eden and my precious Lily. They have all taught me to lean on faith and have courage, understanding, and hope. That even though life doesn't turn out how we want it, the Lord will help us through and help us to understand why it doesn't.

Sending you hugs, hope you are all well.


The G Fam said...

I know it is so different for Dads, and yet they still experience the pains of the loss of a child. The poem is beautiful, and just wanted to let you know that you will forever be in our prayers. My thoughts are constantly wondering how you guys are doing. Hang in there. You are among friends and angels.
Heart hugs,

The Millirons said...

Thanks for visiting Ellie today ! I am going to put some flowers for Jersey. They are from Tyler, Douglas, Ellie and me : )

lundgrenville said...

Been thinking about all of you today...and hope that today brought cheerful hearts in some way...
Lots of Hugs-

MommyRohner said...

That was beautiful. Our love to Chris.

The McKnights said...

That is a great poem. I can only imagine what Chris is struggling with internally but ust like in this poem, he is strong for your sake. It's amazing to watch. You both are still in our prayers every day.

Jennifer Olson Brown said...

Chris- we are still praying for your family. I agree with the poem and feel sad the society doesn't comfort the man in a tragedy in the same way as the woman. we love you guys. P.S. I did a little post on Jersey's mission on my blog and have some pictures from the service you might want. Posted Jan 13th titled "Remembering Jersey."