HFD!

I know this is late in coming but couldn't pass telling Chris how wonderful he is! I love watching him interact with T&T, I love when he walks through the door the blondies stop whatever they are doing and run to him. I love how he can calm Tucker when nobody else can. I love how Tatum wants to marry him. I love how Tucker worships him and wants to do everything Chris does. I love how Chris loves them back. How he worries if Tatum is modest or not. How he wants to make sure Tuck is "tough" and doesn't take "crap". I love how he twirls with Tatum. I love that he can go on the spinny rides because I can't. I love how he cleans up their barf. How lucky we are to have such an amazing man in our lives. Tucker has a fabulous example and Tatum's husband has a lot to live up to!

Tatum: age: 29

weight: 26lbs

height: 40 in.

favorite color: blue

favorite sport: baseball

favorite food: salad (he hates salad)

favorite thing to do with me: snuggle

favorite thing about dad: he's the funniest daddy of all

Dad runs FAST!

I really love about daddy: he's the best daddy in the whole wide world and he's silly.

I like him because he tickles me!

Tucker: age: 29

weight: 73 lbs.

height: 70 ft.

favorite sport: mountain biking

favorite food: fish (he hates fish!)

favorite thing to do with me: mountain biking

favorite thing about dad: he goes mountain biking

Dad runs really fast!

Why I love dad: he's the funniest than everybody else

I like to jump on the tramp with dad.

Boxed Up

I did it, it's all boxed up. I'm tired of it looking at and teasing me. I'm done with the tiny, girlie sundresses, hung according to size and color starring at me, the burp clothes folded just so...waiting, the changing table full of infant diapers begging to be used. NO MORE! I packed it ALL up. Everything. Every... last... bit. I took apart and stored high in the garage the high chair I've tolerated in the laundry room for the last 2 years, we have zero need for it and may never again. I packed away all the bottles, unopened pacifiers, and sippy cups and then ripped off the labels in the cupboard, yes I label my cupboard. I gathered all her blankets, specific to her, and put them in their own box along with her other "special" things, they don't belong with all the other baby blankets, they're special. I'm done being taunted. The crib is too large to do anything with along with the changing table, I'll have to endure them. Maybe when I walk by I'll stick my tongue out at them.

What happens when you leave a brand new, unopened bag of delicious Rhodes roles on the counter over night.

Jersey Girl

Hard to believe it's been 5 months. It still feels surreal. I still cry. Today, like yesterday and tomorrow, I miss her.


It's amazing how she never told me she loved me but she does, that I am certain, 100% certain. When things are quiet, I find myself thinking and wondering, and without a doubt I can feel deep in my heart the undeniable, wonderful feeling that she loves me. Oh how I miss her.


I've recently let myself hold and love on babies. It's nice, I like it. I like their squishy thighs and delicate, soft skin. I like how their eyes light up when they smile at me. I love the miniature clothes and how their skin has a soft hint of baby lotion. I love the matching hair bows and bracelets. I miss her.

Tatum and Tucker don't get that she's never coming home. Still I am asked when she's coming home and what she'll be for Halloween. Tatum wanted to know if her and Jersey are going to share a room; once upon a time they were but plans changed. It's so hard explaining over and over again she's not coming home. Questions of the resurrection always follow: how old will they be, when will it happen, why hasn't it happened, when Jersey's resurrected.... Sometimes I just go with it, it's tiring explaining, it always makes me ache. I miss her.

I will say my arms aren't as empty feeling as they once felt. You know how you leave the house and you get the feeling you should be carrying something and then you realize you forgot your purse? I use to physically feel as if I should be holding her, not any more. I'm glad that's gone. But still, I miss her.



I've been working on her headstone, I can't seem to get it right. I don't want just a typical headstone, I want it to stand out. I want people to stop, read, and realize she's quite the princess. I want it to be something she might have chosen herself, something meaningful and yet, cute and full of personality. It's hard, I don't like doing it, it reminds me of how I miss her.



It's odd how one week I can do so well and the next really struggle. I've sailed through the last 8 weeks and all the sudden I'm back to being overly emotional. What's changed to make me struggle so? This life is very... unpredictable.

Ugly
Draining
Straining
Lonely

Yes there are wonderful, good, happy things about her and her precious short life, but sometimes, like right now, I mostly feel the heavy weight of sorrow on my shoulders. Everywhere and in everything is see her, think about her, and long for her. I really miss her.


Today, like yesterday and tomorrow, I miss her.

Kindersteps Graduation

For Tatum's big graduation day I decided it was time to put mascara on her lovely long lashes, can u tell? Aren't u jealous? I am!

Front row, fifth from the left. They sang Pearly Shells and another song that I can't spell because it's in Hawaiian.

See her tongue stuffed in front of her teeth? She inherited that from me, poor thing.

We sure love her!!

This is little Emma, Taters bff all year.

Tatum loved, loved, loved Miss Hansen (left), she wants her to live with us. Group hug. Tatum also adored Mrs. H and I'm certain they both loved her!

River Jordan's Flow

As told by my mother:

I had told T n T that Doug was camping with all the Young Men.
Tucker wanted to know if it was "Father's and Sons".
I told him no...it was all the Priesthood holders...all the boys that pass the Sacrament and prepare it and bless it...those guys.
Tucker says...I went to Father's and Sons...We watched a movie on a screen.
I repeated back what he said...WOW! A movie on a screen! What was it?
He says...It was All Joseph Smith...and in the movie Joseph Smith was baptized in the River Jordan's flow.
So I'm trying not to laugh...because you know how sincere he is in matters such as this...
I say well Jesus was baptized in the "River Jordan's flow" but I think Joseph Smith was baptized in the Susquehanna (sp) River....can you say Susquehanna?
No I don't have to because Joseph Smith was baptized in the River Jordan's flow.

Memorial Weekend 2009

For Memorial Day Weekend Chris played in a softball tournament in Show Low. It was a lovely weekend, cold, rainy...lovely. While the blondies loved Chris's games their most favorite thing to do was the swings. These aren't just any swings, they're amazing fun. The blondies could never get too high or swing long enough.

Tatum, poor thing, flew off, not fell off, the swing. Chris gave her a mighty push, she was a good 6 feet off the ground and her little booty flew out. See where Chris is standing? That's where she landed and he's trying to console her. The brave little thing wiped her tears and got right back on!

They also very much enjoyed this teeter toter. We think it's funny that Tucker's bunz weigh more than Tater's bunz!

We went bowling for the first time together as a family. I hope we go often, T&T had SO much fun.

It was a killer fun weekend. Although the tournament didn't go in our favor we still very much enjoyed ourselves. The swimming, hale, bugs, swings, mud, mexicans, games, freezing weather with no jackets, and Walmart trip won't soon be forgotten!