A little progress today, FINALLY! For starters her left lung is moving a small amount of air and on the x-ray it was slightly inflated, better than yesterday! Second, she's off her pace maker with a small amount of her atrium firing which again, is more than yesterday. Third, her settings are down on the ECMO machine, down to 300 from 400. I'm not sure exactly what that means but I'm pretty sure it makes her body do a little more work. Today she is being relieved of some of her fluid, as long as she can tolerate it and so far so good. Those are her exciting changes, really it's very little progress but it's some and we'll take it. Now let's quit talking about it, we'll jinx our good news. It's the first progress she's ever made! She's fighting, we can't ask for anything more!
Here's some emotions I feel while I'm in the hospital:
*despair that things have been getting worse
*gratitude when I hear beeping monitors that aren't Jersey's. And grateful when I see nurses frantically running about grabbing doctors and drugs to help another child and not my sweet baby. Sounds ugly I know.
*frustration that as her mommy I'm helpless
*impatient for her to get better and come home
*stress when I hear her monitors or watch her stats lower or watch the nurse get on the phone to alert the doctors of problems
*heartache she has to endure everything she's going through. Heartache we can't take her home. Heartache that her big sister and brother can't hold her or kiss her cheeks.
*thankfulness she's ours and that she's still here, fighting
*peace as I know she's perfect and special
Just a few of the zillions of emotions on this roller coaster of our lives.
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24 comments:
heidi, I love you guys and am thinking about you all the time. she IS a fighter for such a little person. it's amazing how such a tiny person can influence so many lives and change people for the better. I can't wait for you guys to take her home and kiss her little cheeks too. congrats on the good news! love you.
Go Jersey, Go!! She sounds like a fighter and I'm so glad that she's made a little progress. A little is a lot right now and I'm sure every little step she takes in the right direction is a huge one for her. Thank you for keeping us all posted. I know this is incredibly hard for you and I'm so sorry that you are having to go through it. I'm just glad that there are so many people that love you guys and are praying for your entire family. I know that Heavenly Father is watching over you and will give you the strength to get through this tough time. Love you!
Hey, progress is progress and the opposite or regress. We;ll take what we can get from this amazing little girl!
Please pardon the typos, they are to be expected when one is excited
I do not know you Heidi, but the fact that we are both heart mommies makes us more similar than anyone can imagine. I completely understand all of the feelings and emotions that you have right now and I think they are all so very normal and it's okay to feel them. It is so hard what you, Jersey and your family are being asked to endure right now, but I do know that the Lord will give you enormous amounts of peace and comfort when you ask Him. I am so sorry that you have to experience this and sometimes it's okay to say, "this just plain stinks!" I pray that Jersey will continue to make progress no matter how small and that her doctors and nurses will know how to best care for her. Try to give yourself a chance to heal and recover as you have just had a baby!
Love, Keisa
Yay! Progress! I'm smiling =). I understand your feelings of helplessness but just remember that your prayers are as strong as any drug they have given her or any machine they have her hooked up to. Go Jersey! Looks like she has her big sister's strong will!
YEAH JERSEY!!!!!! I knew she would be a fighter and strong. It is in her genes. There is nothing more powerful out there than prayer and miracles happen when it is the Lord's will. I can only imagine the helplessness you feel--just remember we have a loving Heavenly Father who loves her more than anything and is giving her peace and comfort as she is fighting and getting stronger. You will feel that peace as well. I love you guys and cannot wait to meet little Jersey. I will definately be in the presence of a special strong spirit. I love you all.
P.S. Chris, just a reminder to hold Heidi.
Heidi that is great. And any progress how great or small is still moving in the right direction. She for sure is a fighter, she is an Anderson. She has to live up to Tatum, and be able to endure Tucker. She is preparing now for what she knows is coming. =) We love her and are so happy you have something today to lift your spirits and to keep moving forward.
Hooray, a little progress. That's what we love to here about your adorable Jersey. We will continue to pray that she makes little steps each and every day that will bring her closer to coming home with her family. We love you guys Heidi and congrats on the good news!
If only you could know how much I have thought of you this week. I can't even imagine all of the pain you've been going through. I lost my dad the day that I gave birth to my sweet baby boy Thomas on Monday and even through my heartache I thought of you and wished that I could be there for you in some way. I know that I have said before that you and Chris and your sweetest little girl but you so very much are. Keep hanging in there my sweet friend. Heavenly Father is without question a God of miracles. I know because I felt that all day on Monday when I didnt' think at first that I could have a baby the day I lost my sweet dad to cancer. There were countless miracles for me this week and I know that Heavenly Father is there for you too. I love you.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you guys and your sweet family..
Wow, you guys have been through so much. Jersey sounds like she's a fighter. I can't imagine the emotional rollercoaster you've been on. Just know that you are loved & being prayed for.
I'm so happy to hear little Jersey has made some progress. Even if it's only a little, it's a step in the right direction! Hope to hear lots more good news real soon!
Heidi, your family has been in our thoughts and our prayers. I am glad to hear of the good progress. Keep it up Jersey. Heidi stay strong, you have a loving Heavonly Father watching over you and your precious family.
Love, The Pickles Family
We were so glad we could see your little angel. She is a champ. Lots of love and prayers coming in her behalf. Love ya tons and keep up the good work Jersey girl.
HORRAY for great progress!! That is not little, that's huge! That's her body starting to handle doing more work for itself and that is wonderful!! Yeah Jersey!!
OH how I know all those emotions too well...that is exactly how you feel, and so much more. Everyone always asks me how I did it and I always say, I have no clue, I just did it. You have no other choice and you just do it, as hard as it is. Hang in there Heidi.. She'll get better little by little. As you learn more and more I think you'll feel more at ease with everything. Can't wait til she's off ECMO.. We're praying and ALWAYS thinking of you all..
Avery
You and Chris are inspiring to me. I'm glad you're my friend.
Go Jersey Girl!
Heidi and Chris,
May we add our prayers in behalf of your new little baby. Your Mom expressed her thoughts in Relief Society today, and we are all praying for little Jersey, and for you and Chris.
Glad today has brought a tiny bit of improvement...improvement is improvement no matter how small!
Know that we love you and have you in our prayers.
What a sweet day of prayers for Jersey. I know you dont want people to come see her, but I feel I get a free ticket to hold sweet Jerseys hand when I go with bishop to the hospital. When I saw her last night it only made me more amazed at how blessed we are to have A wonerful hospital and doctors that know exactly what to do to give her every possible help for a healthy body. I can only imagine all the other emotions you are going through, and I know, you know she is in great hands, the Lords.
HOORAY for even a little progress!! that is great news and yes, lets not jinx it. can you believe she will be 2 weeks old tomorrow? she has gone thru so much in her short lifetime! she definitely is a fighter.
What a relief!!!!!! Whew, I'm soooo glad she's doing a bit better and things are looking up. Good girl Jersey!!!!! Sorry about all of the crazy emotions you are going thru. Hope to see you again soon!
Heidi, its really good to hear of the progress. I couldn't even imagine the roller coaster that you are on but just know that we are praying for your family and little Jersey. She is such a beautiful baby. All of your posts are amazing, Jersey's and your family journey is so incredible. I know that Heavenly Father is watching over you and will take care of you guys. I know that you know that too.
That is good news! I'm so glad she is improving. I can't wait for her to play in her little sundress this summer :)
Wow! I just can't imagine what you are going through. I do know the Lord is watching over you and her. What comfort this sweet blessing gives. We are still praying. I sat with your mom and dad and your kids the other night at the ward party. Your mom told your kids, "Did you know that Sister Cook is friends with both of your grandparents?" And I added, AND YOUR MOM AND DAD!" We love you guys and are so proud of how you are handling this.
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