Friday, December 12, 2008

Precious Toesies

Not much to report, thankfully. We had another pretty good day with much the same as yesterday. She continued having fluid pulled off and mostly maintained her blood pressure. She produced a little urine, not as much as yesterday but still it was being produced! Her GG (great Granny) and Old Papa came to visit for the first time, she really liked them!

Here's her precious little foot, this picture doesn't do it justice. The sad part about her sweet tootsies is there's a possibility she could loose not only them but her foot. Chris is having a fit about this. The doctor said it's too early to to tell but the good things are: she has a pulse, she can move her toes, and her foot hurts. Pray we don't loose any precious toesies!!
I'm having a really hard time finding a balance between being at the hospital with my baby and being at home with my blondies. On one hand Jersey Girl is only 2 1/2 weeks and I like to be there learning and holding hands, stroking her monkey hair and asking for more pain medication when she needs it. On the other, our new life style is starting to affect Tatum and Tucker. I know they just want to be at home, playing with their neighborhood friends and with their toys in their rooms. I want to take them to the park and make fun holiday goodies. Where's the balance? Who should I be with? Jersey won't remember right now and it'll be really important to be with her when we can feed her and hold her. I don't think there's a right answer, both places are important.

20 comments:

MommyRohner said...

Oh sweet baby. It must be so hard to watch her be in pain and I'm sure you feel every bit of it as well. We'll pray for her little piggies.

The Allen's said...

oh heid, I am so sorry of all the hard choices you are having to make. I don't know what the right answer is of where to be either, but i know that the big kids will be ok too. Heavenly Father is with them as well. i am glad grannie and papa got to come and visit. I love them. let me know if you want to drop your blondies at my house on your way out sometime. love ya.

Kim said...

Oh Heidi, I was not prepared to see that little footie of hers. It's good she can move her toes and even feel pain. Grandpa was over yesterday and talked about her monkey hair....it's fitting that he calls all the grandkids monkey.
We continue to pray for your family. Love you

The Ridgway Family said...

Heidi,
I know just how difficult it is to find the balance between being at the hospital with your baby and being home with your little ones. I also have two little older ones at 4 and 2.5 and I struggled with how to split my time. Try not to worry too much about this as it will work itself out. However, I found that my older girls needed me much more through this entire experience than Eden did. I would make a schedule at the beginning of the week and allow myself from 2-4 hours with her on my scheduled days to go and then the rest of the time was spent with my girlies. Since Eden was in the hospital for more than 4 months, I did not go everyday but would take shifts with my mother and mother-in-law. You will find a balance that works for you, just know that Jersey is in very good hands and they are doing alt hey can for her to love her and care for her. I would love to chat more if you have any questions or just need a listening ear of a mommy who understands. We live in east Mesa and are friends with the Milnes. My email is kridgway@cox.net

Hugs, Keisa

Shanen said...

Her poor little foot, I hope that comes around too, as things are still making small progress. I think you said it best, Jersey won't remember any of this. And that is a HUGE blessing. Being able to spending more time with T & T will be a huge benefit for them, and just hardest on you. But you aren't leaving Jersey alone, she has the best of the best watching over her. This is a precious time for T & T and I'm sure they do miss their mommy. You will make it work. You will know what to do, and you can drop those blondies off over here ANYTIME as we play outside OFTEN. Talk to you soon.

Crystal and Mark said...

Hey Heide, I just want to say you are amazing, and your children are so tender. It is so hard to find a balance. this i actually know. Brixley was in the NICU for a month after she was born.And I was there morning to night every day trying to help her. One thing I notice is that Dean has seperation problems now. IT started out pretty horrible, but now he is to the point where he is always by my side,if he is by himself. Or needs me to be by his side all the time. LIke someone else said have someone help you with shifts.I'm gonna call you

Crystal said...

Oh Heidi that sweet little foot breaks my heart. You're doing great with balancing all you have right now. Don't second guess yourself as we can always find something we should have done better or different. You're amazing.

Renae said...

Oh Heidi and Chris! We know this is a most difficult experience to face. You are both strong people and amazing parents. You are doing a great job with the balance, and like Crystal said, no matter what we do as parents, we never feel we're doing everything we can. So don't be discouraged because you really are doing amazing! We would love to have T & T over to play. I've been wanting to call & have them come over, but I wasn't sure if it's harder on them to be at lots of people's houses. But we would love to have them come over anytime!! We will continue to pray for Jersey!

Bunch of Brooks' said...

Oh, that poor footsie and sad little tootsies! I am grateful for the improvement that Jersey is making. I really wish you and your family and especially Jersey all the luck and blessings in the world that she'll make a strong recovery and be able to come home sooner than later. As for the balance, honestly like others said, it'll just work out. You'll do what feels right, and whatever feels right will be the right answer. Take care and let me know if I can babysit, bring more dinners for your family, etc.

Morris Mama said...

So happy to hear she's getting rid of some of that fluid! That is great news. We'll pray that she gets to keep everyone of those piggies. It must be hard to be torn between two places. Let us know if there is anything we can do to help.

jill said...

I'm sure its so hard to try and balance both Jersey and Tatum and Tucker. I can't even imagine. But you are doing a great job! And her little foot is so sad. I hope there is some way they can save it!

Kristin said...

Oh Heidi- her poor foot, it hurts me to look at it! I am so glad that she is still doing better. You are a great mom, you are doing the best you can trying to balance all of this, it has changed your life drastically too! You are doing a marvelous job at finding the balance, it must be a challenge! We continue to pray for your family. Keep smiling, you're amazing!

Nichols Family said...

Oh my goodness guys. Poor little piggies! :( It IS good though that she has feeling in them. I wouldn't know the right answer as far as balance either. Such a difficult situation. You guys are doing the best you can and that is the right answer. Love always.

The Galvan Family said...

Heidi you are so strong, you ask your Father in Heaven where you need to be- he will let you know. Your baby is so special she will be watched over while you are gone & your two blondies will too.
Her poor little foot, I just want to make it better. I am so sorry for your pain, please know that you are in our prayers & we love you.

Chelsea said...

Ouch, that is such a tough decision. One that you should not have to make. I'm so sorry. There is no way you could choose, but I am sure you are doing the best you can and that is all you can do. Please let me have the blondies over soon so you can go and be there with sweet Jersey.

The G Fam said...

I found your blog through a friends. I am a fellow heart Mom. I am the proud Mom to two amazing angels, Lilly and Ryker. Ryker was our second, and was born with a heart condition called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. He lived seven weeks, and fought so hard and valiantly. He did really well with his surgery, but his problem came when the nurses were adjusting his NJ tube and tore his weakened stomach. His angel day is today. I have a niece with the same heart condition, and she was SOOO sick, and our family almost lost her a couple of times, but she has been home for two months now. I believe in God, and I know that he has a plan for all of us. Your sweet Jersey is adorable, it brought tears to my eyes remembering what it is like to see your baby after surgery. Please know that your family is in our prayers and I pray for the peace that you need in your life.
Heart hugs,
Emily and Mike Gourley
P.S. Keisa who made a comment is an amazing Mom and is a kindred spirit to me. She knows well the juggling of family and hospital life.

Cyndi said...

Oh my goodness. It's one thing to hear you talk about her foot & it's another story to actually see it! Poor sweet Jersey. I'm so sorry you guys are having to go through this. I can't even imagine the hard choices you are having to make. I think that no matter where you are, at the hospital or at home, you'll always be second guessing yourself. Just do the best that you can do with the situation that you've been given. You & Chris are such great parents & just know that we are still praying for you guys.

The McBrides said...

Hey Heidi, you are more then welcome to add Ellery to your heart friends if you don't mind me starting one and adding Jersey. I had no idea how connected a lot of the moms are, though I have been interested to know what others are going through. I took the time to read almost your whole blog on Jersey and wow, you have all been through a lot. FYI, we are LDS and thought it one more thing in common. We have been praying for the kids on the floor as a whole, but I'm grateful now to have specific things to pray for...seeing as it's all I can really do. Although, I only have my Ellery so I am able to be there 24/7 so seriously call me anytime and I will check in on Jersey just for peace of mind even if it's 3:00 am , I'm most likely up anyway. I will come visit soon.

Ashley said...

Heidi......I hope you are doing okay.....hang in there girl!!! Your sweet little Jersey is doing great! She is already doing sooooo much better than my little Miles ever was. I have a good feeling she is going to pull out of this!! I need to call you....we need to talk. Love ya!!

Evie's Story said...

Poor precious piggies! found you through Bela's site. Im another heart mom with these little ones always heavy on my heart. Praying for precious Jersey!