Plan B
* Raise healthy, well balanced children
* Run a marathon...some day
* Send my boys off on missions
* Watch my children be married in the temple
* Go on a mission with my hubby
* Own my home free and clear
* Go back to school and get a degree
* Excel at sewing
* Travel the world
* Have a years supply of food
* Raise children who value education and graduate college
* Live to experience the joy of being a grandparent
* Watch my savings account grow
* Grow old and wrinkly with my hubby
* Die of ripe, old age
Plan A
* Do whatever the Lord has planned for me.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
A Melt Down
So there I was at a routine dr.'s appointment, everything still looking and sounding great, when the dr. asks, "Is there anything you're concerned about?" Oh Yes, I said and went on to explain that I had my first 2 babies 10 days early and with my due date being January 15th I'm extremely worried that again I'll go into labor 10 days early and have this baby on January 5th, which is the day Jersey died. I asked again to be induced before the 5th to prevent them from sharing this anniversary.
He kindly told me, again, that they don't induce before 39 weeks.
My chin started quivering, my eyes started watering, I could feel my face begin to redden as I shook my head like I understood, which I do, completely. Then deep from my toes the sobs started. I sat there sobbing, uncontrollably; the harder I tried to get a grip the harder I cried. Between my pathetic sobbing I asked him to please change my due date so we could induce as baby is measuring 8 days bigger.
He said no, it wouldn't be right.
And then I begged, begged him to take pity on me, that I wouldn't persist if it was any date other than THAT date. For the record, it's really hard to make a convincing point when you can hardly speak and when you're trying to control yourself. I begged him to not let them share.
He said he was on my side, he really was. BUT they have to do what's best for baby.
Sobbing, still, I asked him to please make an exception that they can't share THAT date. That surely he understands.
He said he did that he really wanted to help. He said every week all the doctors in the practice sit down and discuss their patients and that he'd discuss my case to see if they could come up with something. He said my mental health is also important.
Maybe I was looking mental to him. Maybe my tears were making a bigger statement than my pleading.
Really, what else is there to come up with other than inducing me!! I feel like I have a legitimate concern, like they shouldn't even be fighting me on this. I know if I was at home with the amazing Dr. Huish he'd do anything for me including inducing. I feel like I've plead my case with very valid points, it's not like I'm asking to be delivered because I'm tired of being pregnant. I feel like my hands are tied and I'm at their mercy. A friend suggested petitioning to the hospital for an exception. I guess desperate times call for desperate measures and so I'll be writing a letter. Hopefully I won't sound to mental... or maybe I want to!
He kindly told me, again, that they don't induce before 39 weeks.
My chin started quivering, my eyes started watering, I could feel my face begin to redden as I shook my head like I understood, which I do, completely. Then deep from my toes the sobs started. I sat there sobbing, uncontrollably; the harder I tried to get a grip the harder I cried. Between my pathetic sobbing I asked him to please change my due date so we could induce as baby is measuring 8 days bigger.
He said no, it wouldn't be right.
And then I begged, begged him to take pity on me, that I wouldn't persist if it was any date other than THAT date. For the record, it's really hard to make a convincing point when you can hardly speak and when you're trying to control yourself. I begged him to not let them share.
He said he was on my side, he really was. BUT they have to do what's best for baby.
Sobbing, still, I asked him to please make an exception that they can't share THAT date. That surely he understands.
He said he did that he really wanted to help. He said every week all the doctors in the practice sit down and discuss their patients and that he'd discuss my case to see if they could come up with something. He said my mental health is also important.
Maybe I was looking mental to him. Maybe my tears were making a bigger statement than my pleading.
Really, what else is there to come up with other than inducing me!! I feel like I have a legitimate concern, like they shouldn't even be fighting me on this. I know if I was at home with the amazing Dr. Huish he'd do anything for me including inducing. I feel like I've plead my case with very valid points, it's not like I'm asking to be delivered because I'm tired of being pregnant. I feel like my hands are tied and I'm at their mercy. A friend suggested petitioning to the hospital for an exception. I guess desperate times call for desperate measures and so I'll be writing a letter. Hopefully I won't sound to mental... or maybe I want to!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Sneaky!
But not really! Being that I'm the Grandma-Nonnie...I have taken a personal liberty and without permission have tiptoed in the back door to post pics of Tatum and Tucker...in what might have been their first day of school attire and appearance. On a lovely morning in August, feeling like Mrs. Claus herself...I opened up my luggage, and the blondies got to try on some new school stuff and sport their new backpacks. (Tatum's came with a most lovely Tinkerbell glitter sash that velcroed across the front. Heidi, upon seeing it, told me to hide it and get rid of it-she was worried that Tatum would instantly love it and need it to adorn her school fashions every day! Oh I hid it....showed it to Tatum later and told her it was special and to save it for the first day of school. She pulled it out the night of Meet your Teacher....hehehehe) Tuck was immediately thrilled with his own pair of scissors!
I do NOT have pics of the lovely glitter sash...a fierce regret! But...I do have the above pics of my beautiful blondies.
Shhhhhhhhh......Shaunna
It's Been a While
It's been a while, forgive me. My camera is non-functioning and I believe in posts with pictures so because I don't have any to share I haven't blogged. Oh well. The update:
School FINALLY started. Tatum started on August 24th in the first grade and is loving it. She's a smartie and we hope this year will be a challenging one for her. She did great on her first day, darling as usual. She loves her teacher, Mrs. Stewart, and is making new friends in her class...although she's missing her old friends and wishes she was at home with them. Tucker started September 7th in Kindergarten and was a rock star! Oh was he handsome and SO excited! He didn't want me to take him to his class but because I am a mean mom I did anyways. I couldn't not get pictures of him at his desk on his first day, they're a must! When I picked him up he said his first day was 'great' and his teacher 'is really nice'. His enthusiasm has continued and he's happy to get up in the morning and get ready for school...thankfully. I've anticipated attitude in the morning but have yet to get anything but cooperation and excitement. I love it!
We went to the perinatologist Sept. 3 and she said Baby Andy looks 'amazing' and that we 'have a great one', as in a healthy baby! Amazing!! She said he's gonna be BIG, definitely a football player. She said we don't need to see her again and we aren't sad about that! So it seems we have big boy babies and 'normal' girl babies. Tuck was 9 lbs while Tatum was 7lbs 5 oz. Jersey Girl doesn't really count, she was 5 lbs 9oz but 4 weeks early. Anyways, we're absolutely thrilled we've gotten nothing but happy, healthy news and feel like we have so many things to be grateful for. We go to cardiology October 12th and that will be our last specialist we'll see. Feeling confident this will be a very different experience.
But still...missing my girlie.
We're enjoying the gorgeous weather and can hardly believe Utah calls this their summer. The leaves have started changing. I've never seen Fall leaves and am looking forward to the next couple of weeks and they completely change. The temperature is dropping and every day is a lovely one!
We've LOVED the visits from our family. Nonnie, Auntie Natalie, Auntie Brooke, and Grandpa have all been here the last month, it makes us miss home but we LOVE visitors. So please, come and visit!
Chris started his second semester Sept. 7th and claims it's gonna be a hard one. He'll do great, like he did last semester, and hopefully with the holidays it will soon be over.
All is well.
School FINALLY started. Tatum started on August 24th in the first grade and is loving it. She's a smartie and we hope this year will be a challenging one for her. She did great on her first day, darling as usual. She loves her teacher, Mrs. Stewart, and is making new friends in her class...although she's missing her old friends and wishes she was at home with them. Tucker started September 7th in Kindergarten and was a rock star! Oh was he handsome and SO excited! He didn't want me to take him to his class but because I am a mean mom I did anyways. I couldn't not get pictures of him at his desk on his first day, they're a must! When I picked him up he said his first day was 'great' and his teacher 'is really nice'. His enthusiasm has continued and he's happy to get up in the morning and get ready for school...thankfully. I've anticipated attitude in the morning but have yet to get anything but cooperation and excitement. I love it!
We went to the perinatologist Sept. 3 and she said Baby Andy looks 'amazing' and that we 'have a great one', as in a healthy baby! Amazing!! She said he's gonna be BIG, definitely a football player. She said we don't need to see her again and we aren't sad about that! So it seems we have big boy babies and 'normal' girl babies. Tuck was 9 lbs while Tatum was 7lbs 5 oz. Jersey Girl doesn't really count, she was 5 lbs 9oz but 4 weeks early. Anyways, we're absolutely thrilled we've gotten nothing but happy, healthy news and feel like we have so many things to be grateful for. We go to cardiology October 12th and that will be our last specialist we'll see. Feeling confident this will be a very different experience.
But still...missing my girlie.
We're enjoying the gorgeous weather and can hardly believe Utah calls this their summer. The leaves have started changing. I've never seen Fall leaves and am looking forward to the next couple of weeks and they completely change. The temperature is dropping and every day is a lovely one!
We've LOVED the visits from our family. Nonnie, Auntie Natalie, Auntie Brooke, and Grandpa have all been here the last month, it makes us miss home but we LOVE visitors. So please, come and visit!
Chris started his second semester Sept. 7th and claims it's gonna be a hard one. He'll do great, like he did last semester, and hopefully with the holidays it will soon be over.
All is well.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
The Details
I'm 16 weeks and 1 day pregnant which puts my due date at January 15, 2011. Next year. Feels like forever but if the next 24 weeks can go as fast as these last 16 I won't complain! Our blondie's birthdays are: October, November, January, and January making spring time our mating season. Nice. :)
We're excited, although we're quite guarded with our excitement. Even the blondies didn't jump up and down when we shared our news. Tatum asked, " How do we know this one won't die?" I tried reassuring her but realized we don't know. I assured her the doctors would look really close at everything, especially the heart. When I compare their reaction to finding out about Jersey compared to this one it's so mild. They did smile big and they are excited but some how it feels different. We affectionately call the baby, Baby Andy short for Anderson. I think it's cute and so much better than 'It' or 'the baby'.
I hesitate and almost refuse to look for diaper bags or anything baby. I remember doing that with Jersey and ended up never needing anything. I promised Tucker Jersey would be at his 4th birthday party...I lied. Baby Andy is due 18 days before his 6th birthday, I don't dare make any promises. I don't even want to think about buying diapers or wipes, last time I returned almost $100 worth. I wonder at what point I'll be able to feel the assurance this one is healthy, who knows, maybe I won't, maybe it isn't.
I had my first appointment last week. The thought of an upcoming appointment made me feel really anxious. The thought of a waiting room, having to review Jersey's history, the almost expectant feeling of bad news just about made me sick. I dreaded my appointment. Surprisingly I got through it with zero tears and no anxiety attack. I can't seem to remember that the anticipation is worse than the upcoming event.
My doctor was quite nice, I think he and I will get along. He easily promised an echo and a level 2 ultrasound and reassured me that if anything concerning was seen during my 18 week ultrasound we would immediately be advised. He almost calmed my concerns, nothing could completely calm me. My brain is programmed for and my body anticipates bad news. I have an ultrasound on the 17th of this month. Feeling anxious so I don't think about it. I've decided to bring the blondies to that appointment, Tatum is thrilled! Hoping we don't jinx any good news! I also have a cardiology appointment on September 3rd, definitely won't think about that one.
All in all feeling quite well and excited to have a baby in my arms!
We're excited, although we're quite guarded with our excitement. Even the blondies didn't jump up and down when we shared our news. Tatum asked, " How do we know this one won't die?" I tried reassuring her but realized we don't know. I assured her the doctors would look really close at everything, especially the heart. When I compare their reaction to finding out about Jersey compared to this one it's so mild. They did smile big and they are excited but some how it feels different. We affectionately call the baby, Baby Andy short for Anderson. I think it's cute and so much better than 'It' or 'the baby'.
I hesitate and almost refuse to look for diaper bags or anything baby. I remember doing that with Jersey and ended up never needing anything. I promised Tucker Jersey would be at his 4th birthday party...I lied. Baby Andy is due 18 days before his 6th birthday, I don't dare make any promises. I don't even want to think about buying diapers or wipes, last time I returned almost $100 worth. I wonder at what point I'll be able to feel the assurance this one is healthy, who knows, maybe I won't, maybe it isn't.
I had my first appointment last week. The thought of an upcoming appointment made me feel really anxious. The thought of a waiting room, having to review Jersey's history, the almost expectant feeling of bad news just about made me sick. I dreaded my appointment. Surprisingly I got through it with zero tears and no anxiety attack. I can't seem to remember that the anticipation is worse than the upcoming event.
My doctor was quite nice, I think he and I will get along. He easily promised an echo and a level 2 ultrasound and reassured me that if anything concerning was seen during my 18 week ultrasound we would immediately be advised. He almost calmed my concerns, nothing could completely calm me. My brain is programmed for and my body anticipates bad news. I have an ultrasound on the 17th of this month. Feeling anxious so I don't think about it. I've decided to bring the blondies to that appointment, Tatum is thrilled! Hoping we don't jinx any good news! I also have a cardiology appointment on September 3rd, definitely won't think about that one.
All in all feeling quite well and excited to have a baby in my arms!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The Great Debate
What a debate it's been!
It's one of those issues there's simply no compromising,
One caves or the other.
There's no meeting half way.
There's no common ground.
It's been hard when we both feel strongly about our points.
Mine is right, of course,
but somehow he feels his is right,
or at least safe if nothing else.
One of us gave in.
He/She didn't necessarily give the thumbs up
but passively let things happen.
And eventually...
nature takes its course.
So,
without further adieu,
we are thrilled
and anxious
to welcome baby #4.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
We're Here
We're here and have been for almost a month. Safe and sound and quite settled. We're enjoying our 'new' home and are trying to get into a routine. The blondies both like their new rooms and LOVE the upstairs loft which is nothing but their play room. Their back yard rocks! Lots of greenery, an apple and apricot tree, a rope swing, swing set, and the trampoline and teeter totter we brought. It's so green, like a jungle, we're loving all the color. It even has a rose bush with PINK roses, so fitting. Our house has an older charm to it, I'm quite enjoying the accents only an older home would have. We're learning about basements and no air conditioning. We're absolutely loving the weather, it's amazing it's the middle of July and we've hardly broken a sweat! And the mountains!! SO majestic and so close!
We were lucky enough to have family here for the first 2 and a half weeks! It was fun, more like a vacation than Utahr life. We also had our first guests, the Halterman's, their visit was much too short and we had a great time. We also enjoyed see our good friends the Skidmores, Woods, and Rohners.
We've explored our new neighborhood, hiked a couple different mountains including the Y which, by the way, just about killed me!, visited our friends in Ogden and with them experienced Lagoon (a theme park), enjoyed the beauty of 2 waterfalls both from the bottom, sun bathed at a water park, shivered on cold nights, and have hardly broken a sweat. We've eaten at new yummy restaurants but have yet to discover an ice cream place quite as delicious as Nielsen's Frozen Custard.
We're missing our friends, house, family, and ward. Our ward is quite different. It's small and quiet as opposed to huge and busy. Tatum only has 5 kids in her class instead of 20. There was extra space in the primary room and the entire primary could fit in the same room. We've missed the crowded halls and craziness between classes. We miss the familiar faces and definitely the bread! Oh the bread! I'm sure we'll enjoy our ward, it just takes time.
I have loads of pictures but my computer has a virus so I'll have to post them later. Over all we're doing well and are excited to finally be here together!
We were lucky enough to have family here for the first 2 and a half weeks! It was fun, more like a vacation than Utahr life. We also had our first guests, the Halterman's, their visit was much too short and we had a great time. We also enjoyed see our good friends the Skidmores, Woods, and Rohners.
We've explored our new neighborhood, hiked a couple different mountains including the Y which, by the way, just about killed me!, visited our friends in Ogden and with them experienced Lagoon (a theme park), enjoyed the beauty of 2 waterfalls both from the bottom, sun bathed at a water park, shivered on cold nights, and have hardly broken a sweat. We've eaten at new yummy restaurants but have yet to discover an ice cream place quite as delicious as Nielsen's Frozen Custard.
We're missing our friends, house, family, and ward. Our ward is quite different. It's small and quiet as opposed to huge and busy. Tatum only has 5 kids in her class instead of 20. There was extra space in the primary room and the entire primary could fit in the same room. We've missed the crowded halls and craziness between classes. We miss the familiar faces and definitely the bread! Oh the bread! I'm sure we'll enjoy our ward, it just takes time.
I have loads of pictures but my computer has a virus so I'll have to post them later. Over all we're doing well and are excited to finally be here together!
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