Saturday, September 18, 2010

A Melt Down

So there I was at a routine dr.'s appointment, everything still looking and sounding great, when the dr. asks, "Is there anything you're concerned about?" Oh Yes, I said and went on to explain that I had my first 2 babies 10 days early and with my due date being January 15th I'm extremely worried that again I'll go into labor 10 days early and have this baby on January 5th, which is the day Jersey died. I asked again to be induced before the 5th to prevent them from sharing this anniversary.

He kindly told me, again, that they don't induce before 39 weeks.

My chin started quivering, my eyes started watering, I could feel my face begin to redden as I shook my head like I understood, which I do, completely. Then deep from my toes the sobs started. I sat there sobbing, uncontrollably; the harder I tried to get a grip the harder I cried. Between my pathetic sobbing I asked him to please change my due date so we could induce as baby is measuring 8 days bigger.

He said no, it wouldn't be right.

And then I begged, begged him to take pity on me, that I wouldn't persist if it was any date other than THAT date. For the record, it's really hard to make a convincing point when you can hardly speak and when you're trying to control yourself. I begged him to not let them share.

He said he was on my side, he really was. BUT they have to do what's best for baby.

Sobbing, still, I asked him to please make an exception that they can't share THAT date. That surely he understands.

He said he did that he really wanted to help. He said every week all the doctors in the practice sit down and discuss their patients and that he'd discuss my case to see if they could come up with something. He said my mental health is also important.

Maybe I was looking mental to him. Maybe my tears were making a bigger statement than my pleading.

Really, what else is there to come up with other than inducing me!! I feel like I have a legitimate concern, like they shouldn't even be fighting me on this. I know if I was at home with the amazing Dr. Huish he'd do anything for me including inducing. I feel like I've plead my case with very valid points, it's not like I'm asking to be delivered because I'm tired of being pregnant. I feel like my hands are tied and I'm at their mercy. A friend suggested petitioning to the hospital for an exception. I guess desperate times call for desperate measures and so I'll be writing a letter. Hopefully I won't sound to mental... or maybe I want to!

15 comments:

brooke said...

Maybe the "committee" will side with you? Otherwise, I'd play the mental card! How frustrating.

DaNelle said...

I say tell that Doctor to stick it and come down to have your baby with Dr. Huish! Good luck Heidi!

The Talley Family said...

Oh you poor thing. That must be really hard. I hope you get your way.

Heather said...

I am all for a healthy strong baby but really? He can't induce before 39 weeks. We are talking a matter of days here. Fight it Heidi, fight! I will be praying for you.

cici said...

I would leave it up to God. He knows what is best for everyone.
My Prayers are with you.

Shabwan said...

If you're tooooo mental...they'll take your baby early and take Tatum and Tucker too!

{ Bethany } said...

I really can't believe they wouldn't make an exception of ONE DAY. They just don't get it, they don't get how much that stupid date hurts. How in the world would they expect you to deliver a baby while trying to deal with that?!?!

Fight them on this one, Heidi. Maybe talk to a psychiatrist and have them write a recommendation. :)

~Bethany

Eve said...

Just don't take any "medicine" and have the baby around your expected due date, the 15th!

Brooke Woods said...

Love you Heidi. I'm mad at your doctor.

jill said...

i wouldn't stress about having him on the 5th. just bc tatum and tucker came 10 days early does not mean he will too! just relax those last few weeks (NO CASTOR OIL!)and I bet you have him closer to your due date. also...boys develop slower than girls do, you don't want him to come too early.

call me if you want to chat :)

Nicole said...

I have been thinking about this repeatedly since you told me the due date. I'm sure that Jersey Girl will make sure that brother does not cause Mommy any undue stress. And if the doc does not side with you and you happen to have him that day, it may be her way of trying to make that day not so sad.

Renae Steere said...

I was going to say the same things as Jill. I had my first 10 days early and then the 2nd on his due date, and the 3rd only 2 days early. So while I can TOTALLY understand that you're worried about having the baby on that date, and you should be, I'm hoping that you will naturally have the baby after that date (but of course still early would be nice). And yes, I guess it will mean not doing any of those wonderful "homeopathic" helps before that date! :)

But another idea is to switch to a doctor who WILL induce you earlier! :)!!!

Netso said...

I need to share a story with you. Scott had a baby brother die on the 26th of December, he was an infant as well a sweet little angel too precious for this world. Well when we were told Skylee's due date was Dec. 24th Scott said, "Oh I hope she's not born on the day my brother died, that would be really hard on my mom." Well as fate had it Skylee was born on December 26th. I was so worried what Scott's mom would do. When she walked in the room she was sobbing and then she grabbed Skylee and said " Finally! Something good has came of this day I've hated all these years, thank you Baby girl!" It had been 30 years she had suffered and leave it to a baby to bring back some happiness and light.:)

Kelli said...

It really would not be up to the hospital, it's up to the doctor...I love what Nesto said, something good may come on that day! I also agree that it is unlikely that you will have the baby on that day. Either way, your going to have a beautiful healthy baby! .

Sandy said...

Reading your Story, moves me! But just let me say, that if Brother does come on Jersey's departure day, maybe, just maybe it will change how you feel about that day! I am sure the Doctor just wants him to be as Healthy as he can be, so just let him come when he is ready! Jersey and him will work it out!! Good luck!